You're completely useless in the revolution.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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