dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
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I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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