Your mouth is God's brothel.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
