"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
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Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
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I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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