YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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