The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
