Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
