We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
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I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
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I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
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Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
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