areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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