What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
