those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize