So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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