Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
