YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
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