Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans

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  (203): maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans http://tfl.nu/l2qt
  Replies (36) Good night (676) Bad night (1947)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar

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  (303): last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar http://tfl.nu/1mlv
  Replies (11) Good night (2859) Bad night (738)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"

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  (419): Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?" http://tfl.nu/fz6y
  Replies (26) Good night (934) Bad night (4488)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.

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  (502): All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets. http://tfl.nu/t3ff
  Replies (10) Good night (3719) Bad night (685)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."

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  (480): Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions." http://tfl.nu/c9eh
  Replies (18) Good night (5104) Bad night (928)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.

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  (610): Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital. http://tfl.nu/94uz
  Replies (39) Good night (6019) Bad night (2878)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.

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  (702): Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better. http://tfl.nu/sd76
  Replies (11) Good night (4770) Bad night (1267)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?

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  (301): I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun? http://tfl.nu/ilq6
  Replies (3) Good night (2782) Bad night (1095)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.

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  (727): well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up. http://tfl.nu/6z0c
  Replies (6) Good night (1611) Bad night (979)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.

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  (218): You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears. http://tfl.nu/cuw5
  Replies (24) Good night (4138) Bad night (683)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.

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  (479): The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now. http://tfl.nu/1qaa
  Replies (4) Good night (1695) Bad night (511)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.

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  (919): It feels like one of my ribs evaporated. http://tfl.nu/v71y
  Replies (2) Good night (432) Bad night (810)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?

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  (+61): I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey? http://tfl.nu/wn19
  Replies (4) Good night (750) Bad night (401)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.

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  (206): View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well. http://tfl.nu/3wj0
  Replies (3) Good night (868) Bad night (211)
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  (619): View more from California

  Then again, he has huge mansions.

  (619): View more from California

  *manboobs.

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  (619): Then again, he has huge mansions. (619): *manboobs. http://tfl.nu/0ptq
  Replies (3) Good night (270) Bad night (550)

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