Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods

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  (212): Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods http://tfl.nu/urut
  Replies (8) Good night (1485) Bad night (618)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  summer is not the time to consider going full bush.

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  (337): summer is not the time to consider going full bush. http://tfl.nu/4smx
  Replies (71) Good night (763) Bad night (3931)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?

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  (503): do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out? http://tfl.nu/q9ps
  Replies (37) Good night (8926) Bad night (3246)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.

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  (305): Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level. http://tfl.nu/s74q
  Replies (5) Good night (3017) Bad night (984)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.

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  (314): every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar. http://tfl.nu/8pyq
  Replies (13) Good night (5188) Bad night (1112)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.

  (616): View more from Michigan

  The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...

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  (616): I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself. (616): The wine tasting is just for charity anyways... http://tfl.nu/d1ju
  Replies (3) Good night (2956) Bad night (911)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.

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  (919): Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy. http://tfl.nu/xqei
  Replies (11) Good night (3665) Bad night (828)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I feel like death gave me a hand job

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  (505): I feel like death gave me a hand job http://tfl.nu/81uy
  Replies (12) Good night (676) Bad night (1687)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?

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  (540): I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present? http://tfl.nu/y1uu
  Replies (22) Good night (1922) Bad night (795)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.

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  (281): I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car. http://tfl.nu/5ru6
  Replies (1) Good night (429) Bad night (712)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.

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  (678): He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker. http://tfl.nu/0g20
  Replies (4) Good night (1084) Bad night (407)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.

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  (317): He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life. http://tfl.nu/c0aw
  Replies (6) Good night (413) Bad night (1660)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.

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  (714): I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature. http://tfl.nu/j5ba
  Replies (1) Good night (171) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?

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  (618): Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando? http://tfl.nu/dfzg
  Replies (3) Good night (309) Bad night (137)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.

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  (785): There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now. http://tfl.nu/wfia
  Replies (1) Good night (296) Bad night (170)

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