Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.

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  (630): Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way. http://tfl.nu/v52c
  Replies (63) Good night (3400) Bad night (1277)
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  (714): View more from California

  Being a girl sucks.

  (949): View more from California

  Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too

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  (714): Being a girl sucks. (949): Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too http://tfl.nu/5qxe
  Replies (39) Good night (4869) Bad night (1113)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.

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  (724): my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out. http://tfl.nu/0szs
  Replies (18) Good night (5030) Bad night (939)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"

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  (610): I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER. (610): When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!" http://tfl.nu/bnpd
  Replies (40) Good night (6161) Bad night (1193)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.

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  (952): history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it. http://tfl.nu/1q62
  Replies (17) Good night (6430) Bad night (1018)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.

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  (617): I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch. http://tfl.nu/yicm
  Replies (13) Good night (2044) Bad night (3173)
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.

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  (862): Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea. http://tfl.nu/cd70
  Replies (2) Good night (2609) Bad night (1196)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you

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  (740): I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you http://tfl.nu/cn0s
  Replies (19) Good night (2782) Bad night (1684)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"

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  (630): i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four" http://tfl.nu/s544
  Replies (13) Good night (744) Bad night (2414)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.

  (678): View more from Georgia

  C smoking isn't all bad

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  (678): When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs. (678): C smoking isn't all bad http://tfl.nu/znda
  Replies (5) Good night (683) Bad night (877)
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  (707): View more from California

  I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs

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  (707): I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs http://tfl.nu/07a7
  Replies (5) Good night (591) Bad night (1221)
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  (518): View more from New York

  How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.

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  (518): How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day. http://tfl.nu/rh3z
  Replies (6) Good night (1615) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.

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  (870): There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked. http://tfl.nu/ccaq
  Replies (6) Good night (600) Bad night (376)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!

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  (850): so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u! http://tfl.nu/677z
  Replies (6) Good night (1455) Bad night (285)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.

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  (586): He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis. http://tfl.nu/f1uw
  Replies (2) Good night (616) Bad night (298)

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