Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
You work out of a Hotel?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
sarcasm needs its own font
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.