Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize