No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
