Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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