so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize