remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
