Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
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i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
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I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip