he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
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she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
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Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works