I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
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you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
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Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.