you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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