Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
