hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i already hear my dad disowning me
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
