Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize