I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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