You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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