Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Found your dick twin last night
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize