I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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