i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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