its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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