i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
