It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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