I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I came so hard my ears popped.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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