Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
