Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
