My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
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