If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize