3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
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Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
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Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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