wat bout pragnant strippers??
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
