I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
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Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
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Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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