You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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