Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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