I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
