But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
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just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
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She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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