My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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