operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
