Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
