She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
