If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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