Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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